Knowing Penelope Moore
by Panda Hallows
Summary: After her breakup with Leonard, Penny starts to evaluate her life. Penny-centric with future Shenelope-Sheldon/Penny


**Rating:** T

**Chapter:** 1/?

**Genres:** Angst[minor]/Romance/Family/Friendship

**Timeline:** After episode 3.8?

**Summary:** After Penny and Leonard breakup Penny starts to reevaluate her life as well as deal with a few things.

**Pairing:** Shenelope, Penny/Sheldon etc. Though Penny-centric.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything; if I did I'd probably have a huge crossover with all my fav shows…

**Panda Note:** Hello guys!! If you're reading this then you're either a friend from my iCarly fics or you're a BBT fan who wants to read this. It's my first attempt at this fandom so if you like it or don't let me know. I think I will continue this, maybe edit this again, but I'm just getting a feel for where I am for this fandom. This only took me a few moments to actually write, so we'll see what happens.

Let's do this!

**Chapter One**

The breakup had been looming over her and she chose to ignore the signs. Sometime after their fourth fight Sheldon had been her confidant, much to his chagrin. He hadn't meant to intrude upon their problems, even though their first real fight had bothered him. He gave her a few reasons as to why they didn't belong together and she took it as can be expected.

She always said that she loved when people were honest; there wasn't any real reason to lie. The truth had a way of getting out in the end so why not cut to the chase? At least that's how she liked to think. Her reactions to the truth had always been less than pleasant.

Whenever the lanky Physicist would try and explain things in his own special way, she'd find herself growing irritated. Not that she expected any less from him, but hearing it stated so plainly bothered her a great deal.

It made her wonder about her previous relationships and her choice in men. Maybe they weren't the _real _problem; maybe it had more to do with her. That's not saying that they were all saints, but she was part of those relationships.

Now that it was over, she could see all the mistakes she could have avoided, even before they slept together the first time.

If Sheldon, of all people could see them, how could she have ignored them?

She'd spent a week avoiding the apartment across the hall from hers. It had nothing to do with their explosive breakup or him running off thereafter. It had more to do with how much it didn't bother her that they were over.

Sheldon would come over out of habit to ask if she'd be joining them for various nights such as Halo night or Thai food night. But she'd decline and close the door in his face.

Her bed had become her security blanket of sorts. She took a few days off from work, even though it was unwise, her bills were stacking up in the mailbox she hadn't visited in a week.

It wasn't until the day before her shift would start that she really woke up.

Her life was a mess and she was drowning in it.

She was clinging to a relationship that gave her life normalcy, but was failing before her eyes.

Ending it was the wisest choice.

This was what she told herself all that week.

When she managed to push herself out of her bed and climb into the shower, everything else seemed to follow. Showering meant that she needed to brush her hair, which led to plucking her eyebrows and applying a little make-up.

Each act led to another and before she realized it she looked like herself again. Whether that was a good thing or not, she wasn't sure.

The person in the mirror tilted their head to the side and sighed.

Her hair was getting long and the sun had caused the color to diminish. It was with this realization that she set out on a mission to improve herself, starting with her outward appearance. First a haircut then a new outfit to make herself feel better.

Heck, maybe she'd even call one of her drinking buddies up and go out for a night of reckless fun. Anything was better then sitting in her apartment and thinking over the breakup and her dulled out feelings over failing another relationship.

He was supposed to be the one to prove her wrong.

He was supposed to be a great guy; smart, sweet and thoughtful.

Yet he'd just been all wrong for her, as a boyfriend.

He was a wonderful friend though.

Friend.

Maybe they'd get to that point, after the awkwardness wore off and they'd be able to look one another in the eye again.

But for now she needed to do what she always did whenever life got hard, drink and find someone physically stimulating to rock her world for a night.

With this plan setup in her mind she grabbed her bag and slinked out of her apartment and practically sprinted down the stairs and out to her car.

She still didn't feel like standing out in the sunlight, which seemed brighter that day. It was practically burning her slightly paled skin as she threw her hood over her head.

"Why is this bothering me when it really doesn't bother me?" she asked her steering wheel, as she picked at a loose piece of it, causing it to tear a bit. "It wasn't completely my fault was it?" she continued. "I at least thought he liked me for me but it was about sex. I should be used to that by now. It's _always_ about sex."

With a firm grip she started up her car and headed out to fix herself.

**Panda Note:** Well comment! I'd love to know what ya think.


End file.
